We're not even friends yet...
Still?
Chu mean still?
We didn't even make it to "friends" yet...
See....we was supposed to become friends first, before we started considering these relationship goals.
I believe in giving someone a chance to build a friendship with me because eventually I want care and companionship, but I wanna earn it organically. So I know can count on you when life gets hard. I know we wanna skip the salad and get straight to dessert, but if I let you leave an imprint on my soul before we selflessly exercise care for one another...what holds us accountable? Root chakra satisfied while the heart grows cold.
Why should I care about u yet?
Who knows how far it will go?
I don't believe in finding a relationship...
I believe in discovering friendship through practical experiences.
If we're consistently compatible upon our excursions, we could make deliberate choices to find out what bricks we both need to offer to build a sturdy foundation for a bomb future. If that's what we want.
🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱
But we want a person all to ourselves 😆. I get that.
Ego, pride, fear, jealousy all creep in when a solid foundation ain't been established.
In so many cases, any "extra friends" on either end seem to fade once better-informed choices have been made. I mean when i think about it, Newly Introduced Acquaintances have very limited perspectives on their brand new experiences with one another.
How can they judge?
Dey new. 🌱
Newly introduced acquaintances are not yet friends.
They haven't earned it.🫘
If you do decide to jump into "surface level dating" a #newlyintroducedacquaintance most of y'alls established friend groups, patterns, and behaviors will take a lil time to bend towards the needs of a possible romantic partner coming onto the scene.
Cuz they're new here. 🌱 A proven connection will naturally create space for itself with time.
Cuz mostly folk just want a lil romance action. A lil self affirming company...companionship...Nothing serious...just some energy exchanges, activities, and memorable photos and social appearances. U know, Just...dating...dabbling...lightly...and tightly...with a newly introduced acquaintance.
U know.
A Facebook friend....request...accepted.
What's a true friend again, anyway?
See...
I believe a friend is someone more than polite...cordial...helpful....and convenient.
😌🤞🏽
Dat aintcho friend.
😏
People who become friends are ones who thru mutual proximity and purpose are presented with an opportunity to support one another without personal gain on a variety of occasions thru exercising patience, love, forgiveness, trust, safety, making space, and following thru.
💜🙏🏾
Adult people, strangers, and humans become long time friends...thru various levels of experiences and exchanges...not cuz dey keep poppin up at the same playgrounds....bars....jobs....events....
As grown ups, we can become more intentional, sober minded, and innovative than arbitrary synchronicity (although synchronicity OFTEN affirms newly introduced acquaintances).
💫
If u wanna change your status from social acquaintances to heart centered friends you will find or make opportunities to care for one another thru representation, presence, empathy, time, and resources shared from the heart...
Dassa friend.
Friends have different and often more defined boundaries than relationships.
So get out of each other's face and sit across the way from one another. For hours and hours. Like we did when we were young.
Friends become relationships when the frequency shifts...😏
What changes the frequency of a friendship?
Communication, imagination, and sometimes fornication 😆...
No fr tho...a friendship can become a "committed relationship" when a strategy is proposed and initiated. A so called relationship with no navigation strategy, no clear intentions, unclear destinations, limited network sharing, or no collaborative goal is pure companionship...which is merely consistent dating...
Which is fine...doesn't require much commitment from anyone. Because engaged partnership takes a lot if all u wanted was some consistent company from time to time.
Dating, to me is to simply spend or share one's valuable time with another person for the purpose of joy, positive energy exchanges. A Sunday drive, a vacation, with healthy boundaries.
Now courting, to me, is serious. When two worthwhile friends step up to the plate, the field, or the court solve life's challenges together as they merge toward full financial, physical, and emotional commitment.
They have proven to be a worthy and proven player, based on more than companionship, but upon skillsets, and assets, as well as other long term goals.
A "relationship" or a "committed relationship" only worth investing into if the intention is courtship. A commitment to playing the Game of Life together. A courtship can only be achieved once friendship has been established, balanced, and maintained.
Dating has been used as a placebo for loneliness or even idolatry. A distraction from ourselves.
But! Dating is how you find someone with friendship potential...then that friendship can become a committed relationship if courtship and partnership and marriage are on the horizon.
All other options seem to fade as u focus your attention on your lover as a life partner.
U row together
🛶
And 🌱 together.
How and where you date will tell you the kind of friendship you are cultivating.
Favor based, clout based, food based, entertainment based, financially based, spiritually based, and sex based dates encourage partnering patterns....
Can't talk during a movie or with your mouths full.🤭
So no, I don't think u can find a relationship on an app, but you can find a person to invite on a date once the phone conversation confirms a connection.
That person could turn into a friend because of the kinds of expAnsive journeys y'all intentionally decide to go on.
So stop dating the same way, getting the same result 😆.
Be expansive, expect more. Go on lil missions, adventures, tasks, and projects together. Experiences that expose character.
So when you're courting u can see if PRODUCTIVE BLISS can be achieved with your best friend again and again. That way the honeymoon never ends.
One day, I might date for #funship but that may be about it. Issa lil hard to find a new true friend unless we date thoroughly in enough scenarios to start having each other's back...then we become friends and make a committed relationship outta dat.
Bottom line
If our paper's wack....
Then ultimately we can't accomplish jack...
🫡
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